Dilemma

Sometimes I feel that I am your life

Sometimes I don’t even exist for you,

Sometimes it feels like I know you since ages

Sometimes all of this feels so new.

Sometimes I feel I am your best friend

Sometimes I am your girl,

Sometimes I am a stranger

Who’s not even a part of your world.

Sometimes I am on cloud 9

Sometimes in your arms,

In your absence I am in hell

Cauz I am nothing without your charms.

Today with you is beautiful

Tomorrow couldn't get worse,

I can’t feel any of your love

And this all seems like a curse.

I try and try and make decisions

Of never seeing you again,

But then you come and smile at me

And all the resolutions go down the drain.

I wanna love you and be with you

Trust me baby, I really do,

But you are just making it difficult for me each day

To even stand next to you.

If this is the truth and you don’t wanna be with me,

Then what is it that I see in your eyes?

Is there some love for me in your heart,

Or my intuitions are just a pile of lies?

Whatever it is, I want you to know

That my love for you will never change,

Cauz I didn't think before falling in love with you

And falling out of it is just out of my range.

I only wish you could feel what I feel,

And some day you may,

I am ready to stand right beside you

And live in hope of that day.

- Nirmiti Z

The Mystery Unsolved

‘What Women Want?’ This question haunts the best of us. It always leaves men quizzed. And then they assume. Assume that we want money. Assume that we want commitment. Assume that we want attention. Assume so many things. But it’s really none of the above. Yes we do appreciate security, praise and life-long togetherness. But those ain't the things that define our love.

Love is what defines our love. It’s just that. So simple and sweet. It’s only love that we are looking for. This dialogue from ‘Sex and the City’ series got me thinking. And I realized what we all are looking for in a relationship, in love. ‘We are looking for someone to love. Real love. Ridiculous. Inconvenient. Consuming. Can’t live without each other Love. ’

That's is it. For real. I don’t want you to talk to me 24hrs a day. Just talk once, but make me feel that you love me in that one call. Don’t meet me every day, meet me once in a while, but make that meeting special, filled with love. Don’t take me shopping, but sometimes just surprise me with my favorite flower. Don’t compliment me all the time, but when you do, make me feel like a princess, Your Princess. Because that’s what I wanna be. I don’t want to be a part of everything you do, or go everywhere with you, but I want your life to be incomplete without me, because mine is, without you.

So there it is. The Big Secret, unfolded here, in my blog. Go and love your girl. Cause it’s really that simple. That is all she is looking for. :)

Mind or the Heart?

This is a very tricky question a lot of us face every day in our lives. Should I quit my job or not? Should I eat this chocolate cake or not? Should I stay with my family or should I go abroad? Should I miss work to be there for a friend or Should I go to work and complete that due project?

Well the latter in all of the above is what our minds would tell us. We are all driven by this convenient term 'practicality' that makes us decision making processes simpler. We have it all figured out. We all think we are so smart and rational. And life's all good that way.

In fact, we even make Decisions related to Love on merit and rationale. What happened to our emotions? Isn’t love just an emotion? So how can we show emotions practically? Is it that we are pretending each day? Or is it just that we have all become robots? Heartless, insensitive and calculative? Or are we just too scared to get hurt?

Well whatever it is. It’s a part of life you know. Love. Happiness. Heartbreak. The sorrow. It teaches you so much. It makes you the person that you are destined to become.

But there’s this thing, how much ever practical we try to be. There will be one day, there will be one person, who will sweep you off your feet. And then all this practicality will go right out of the window. Whether you can be with him or not, that’s again a game of the mind and heart.

Don't Worry Be Happy

This is the song that really makes me forget my worries. Cauz after all it's all about being happy.
So Don't Worry... Be happy

Don't Worry, Be Happy

From the Movie "Cocktails"

Performed by Bobby McFerrin

Here is a little song I wrote

You might want to sing it note for note

Don't worry be happy

In every life we have some trouble

When you worry you make it double

Don't worry, be happy......

Ain't got no place to lay your head

Somebody came and took your bed

Don't worry, be happy

The land lord say your rent is late

He may have to litigate

Don't worry, be happy

Lood at me I am happy

Don't worry, be happy

Here I give you my phone number

When you worry call me

I make you happy

Don't worry, be happy

Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style                        Loved the song??? 

Ain't got not girl to make you smile                       Here's where you can find it:

But don't worry be happy                                        

Cause when you worry                                                   Download it now 

Your face will frown 

And that will bring everybody down                     Watch the video on Youtube

So don't worry, be happy (now).....

There is this little song I wrote

I hope you learn it note for note

Like good little children

Don't worry, be happy

Listen to what I say

In your life expect some trouble

But when you worry

You make it double

Don't worry, be happy......

Don't worry don't do it, be happy

Put a smile on your face

Don't bring everybody down like this

Don't worry, it will soon past

Whatever it is

Don't worry, be happy

source: Lyrics on demand

Lonely World…. Lonely Heart… Lonely Me…

Why is it that you feel so lonely at times? So lonely that even ur heartbeats sound like drums playin on a 2000 hz woofer. When you look around, you can't really see what's wrong. It all seems just fine. Your work is ok. Your family is surviving. Your friends are with you. You are socializing all the time. So what is the problem? What is it that makes you so low @ times? What is it that makes you wanna cry for no real reason? What is it that makes me write this blog? There is some loneliness. There's something inside me that is incomplete. There is someone who needs care and affection.

Not that I'm neglected or ill-treated. It’s just that sometimes it feels nice when someone makes u smile. It feels good when someone shows that they care. It feels alive when you are someone's priority. We all need that one person in life. That person who can't see anyone but you. That person who places ur happiness b4 anything in this world. That person who always supports u. That person who can make u smile and cry @ d same time. That person who no matter what is waitin 4 u @ d other end.

This person can be anyone. It can be your mother, your dad, your brother/sista, your friend, your lover, your child, your soul mate... Anyone.

I still can't figure out if I have met this person yet. Or am I still looking? I dunno if my life is fine or is it screwed up? I dun even know if this is where I wanted to be. Or this is the path that I wanna take from  here on. I dunno if my life is gonna get better or worse.

All I know is that I live each day with the hope that tomorrow will be worth living. Because life is too short. Make the most your time wid the people around u. Because with a blink of an eye, they'll be gone. They'll be somewhere else, living their life. They'll be busy in theirs and expect u to be busy in urs. But what they don't realize is that I stay exactly where they left me and moved on. I stand there and wait, expecting them to turn back. I stand there in hope of feeling that feeling of completeness again. I guess this is what makes me feel lonely. This is what makes me cry. But this is what I am and this is what I will be till I die. With so many heartbreaks and so many disappointments, I still live with hope in my heart. Hope to find the one. Hope to find friends who will love me for who I am.

People say you are a fool because you give too many chances to a person. But I just know how to love. I might get angry for a while. I might say mean things to u. But trust me... It takes me a blink to forget it too. All I know is to love people and the rest I leave on them. If I deserve it, they'll love me back. If not... I still have my loneliness... My tanhai...

For Bitter or For Worse

Have you grown up hearing things like ‘Don’t sit on the bench, it’ll break’ , ‘Can people see you in the dark?’ , ‘You will be blown away by the wind’ , ‘You can go even in the kid’s rides’ , ‘You can easily scare the children’ and many such other statement? Have you experienced those stares, those second looks, those ‘Look at her’ laughs?

Isn’t it demeaning? Doesn’t it make you furious? But most importantly, isn’t it UNFAIR? Why do we have to put up with other people’s shit? Why should we try to change ourselves? WHY SHOULD WE LIVE TO BE THIS PERFECT PERSON?

Who is this “Perfect Person” anyway? A tall, fair, beautiful, apple-bodied lady? A tall, handsome, gymmed-up man? And we are just too imperfect, aren’t we? You are too short, you are too tall, you are too thin, you are too fat, you are too dark. And who exactly defines this ‘too’? Who is it that is so perfect in this world, who has the right to laugh at others? Who has the right to pin point wrongs in people?

And this perfection, we even seek in love. But we fail to understand that it isn’t the person we love that needs to be perfect, it’s our LOVE that needs to be.

If I don’t want to diet, if I don’t wanna do pull-ups, if I don’t wanna eat bananas and hit the gym, if I don’t wanna wear make-up and look pretty? What if I am too comfortable in my skin? Am I too imperfect for this oh-so-perfect society? Stop giving people advice on how to be perfect. They don’t give a damn.

It’s my life and I am the only person who’s gonna decide how to live it.

Even I can look down upon you and say that you aren’t even worth my company, your standard is just too low, or you come from a shitty background. But I don’t. Cause that’s not what my mum taught me. But you know what, even the largest of pots can hold only a certain amount of water. At some point in time, the water will spill. Someday, I will give it back to you. And that day you would have succeeded in making me exactly like you.

Don’t make me bitter. Just let me live.

To Pee or Not To Pee

Our previous Generation is Orthodox; the next Generation is too modern. But how do we define the now Generation?

I guess we’ll have to split the cookie. Today’s generation is a mix of these 2 different kinda species. One is the moolah-loving, sorted-in-the-head, sincere chaps. And the other is the free spirited, impulsive, HIGH ON LIFE dudes.

The first group of mortal souls are always analysing their past and planning their future. So, with one foot on the past and one on the future, what are we doing to our present? Ya ya... I know I don’t need to give out this one. We all have watched the film. It is the smartest way of living right? So that till you are 30, you have a posh home, a beautiful wife, 2 lovely kids, a respectable post and a handsome salary. Tempting life huh!  

And there is this second gang of simple beings. They live life in the moment. They are the impulsive ones. 

They don’t think about the future, nor do they live in the past. They have their feet firm on the ground in their present. And still they manage to fly. These are the ones who make decisions in the snap of the finger. These are the ones who make friends everywhere they go. For them the universe spreads its arms out. This isn’t all that smart an option, but it is really what life is all about.

Believe in Fate. Believe that it will shape your future well just like it designed your past. Don’t think what will happen tomorrow. Did you think that you would be where you are today? So why waste time thinking about where you want to be tomorrow.

In which category do I fall? Isn’t it pretty evident? ;)